It isn't the first time Eduardo has wondered just how pathetic he must be, that such a small thing, when it comes to Mark, can go such a long way. His father would no doubt scoff and call it weak (a funny thing, really, when so much of that fight for approval comes from him in the first place, a cycle of logic that Eduardo can't break), but knowledge of that has never really made much of a difference. Right now, despite the sinking feeling in the pit of his stomach that he hasn't quite yet been able to shake, something that borders on dread but isn't exactly there (because this is good, it is, indisputably excellent), he can only be pleased, a strange yet not unfamiliar warmth settling over him. Mark does still want him around. Mark isn't looking to find someone better this quickly. Maybe he won't be and never has been enough for Mark, but for now, he's worth keeping around, and that after his three-hundredths of a percent goes a long way indeed.
(He could have changed those four years, Eduardo wants to say, could have reached out, done something, prevented the dilution of his shares from destroying their friendship completely. If he's so easily been drawn back into Mark's orbit here, then it seems all too likely that the same would have happened back home. This one thing is too nice, though, to ruin with talk like that. Those four years are past, for Mark; they're both here now.)
"It wouldn't," he says, with a slight smile before he can help it, "make me more comfortable, I mean. I'd be glad to do it. I -- I'd like to do it." The distinction is an important one, apparently, and in itself a pretty big deal for him, like it might almost be asking too much. If Mark can spell something out, though, so can he. It seems only fair. Still, that doesn't stop him from continuing, wanting to make sure he can shrug this off if he needs to. "I mean, as long as you're sure."
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Date: 2011-06-28 08:33 am (UTC)(He could have changed those four years, Eduardo wants to say, could have reached out, done something, prevented the dilution of his shares from destroying their friendship completely. If he's so easily been drawn back into Mark's orbit here, then it seems all too likely that the same would have happened back home. This one thing is too nice, though, to ruin with talk like that. Those four years are past, for Mark; they're both here now.)
"It wouldn't," he says, with a slight smile before he can help it, "make me more comfortable, I mean. I'd be glad to do it. I -- I'd like to do it." The distinction is an important one, apparently, and in itself a pretty big deal for him, like it might almost be asking too much. If Mark can spell something out, though, so can he. It seems only fair. Still, that doesn't stop him from continuing, wanting to make sure he can shrug this off if he needs to. "I mean, as long as you're sure."